The Christian husband: four things 1 Peter 3:7 asks of you
Dillon McCurdy · September 3, 2026 · 7 min read
Marriage series, part 5 of 5 · 1 Peter 3:7
"Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker partner and as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered" (1 Peter 3:7).
"In the same way"
Peter has just walked through a list: submit to every human authority (2:13), servants to masters (2:18), wives to husbands (3:1). Each of those honors God and is a testimony to the people watching that you follow Jesus. "In the same way," he says, being a good husband is a testimony too. How you treat your wife tells the world what you think of Christ.
"Husbands"
Those who have a wife. Be the husband to your wife and not to anyone else — physically, emotionally, spiritually, in conversation, all of it. Too many men have women who aren't their wife that they treat like they are. Treat your wife like your wife, and no one else.
1. Live with her
"Live with your wives" is simple, but it means more than sleeping under the same roof. Live your life with your wife. Spend time with her. Build the days around her, not around everything else with her fitted in.
2. Seek to know her
"In an understanding way" is the word for knowledge — seeking to know, inquiring, investigating; the same word Peter uses when he says to grow "in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 3:18). So be a detective. What's your wife's favorite flower, candy, color, restaurant, place to visit? If you forget, ask. If you can't remember, write it down. Don't hold back the things you know make her happy. Treat your wife the way she wants to be treated.
Chase your wife. We all did this when we were dating. Are you doing it now? What changed?
And ask yourself the hard one: would you like to be treated by Jesus the way you treat your wife? Jesus is the standard — "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church." Sacrificially. Unselfishly.
3. Honor her
Honor is what you esteem at great value. Value your wife like something priceless, because she is. "Who can find a wife of noble character? She is far more precious than jewels" (Proverbs 31:10). Even if you don't think she's the "Proverbs 31 woman," treat her like she is. She puts up with you. In many cases she's raising your children. She is irreplaceable.
"The weaker partner" isn't an insult; it's a responsibility. In most cases she is weaker than you physically, and often in other ways too — and we have the ability as men to crush our wives in a hundred ways. Don't. Lift her up, encourage her, give her confidence in who she is and in the fact that you love her.
Honor her by being faithful — physically and mentally. "Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled" (Hebrews 13:4). Take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). Your wife is not an object. She is there to be loved, cared for, nurtured, and known. Don't treat your wife the way the world treats its women.
4. Grow together in Jesus
"Coheirs of the grace of life." You and your wife are united in Christ together. "Two are better than one... a cord of three strands is not easily broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:9–12). You, your wife, and Jesus — that's the combination. Focus on your own relationship with Jesus. Then encourage hers. Talk about the Bible, about church, about prayer. Be a husband who can answer her questions and walk through the hard ones with her.
"So that your prayers will not be hindered"
Why do all this? Peter is blunt: so your prayers get answered. Are your prayers hindered because of how things are with your wife? If so, make it right today — with the Lord right now, and with your wife as soon as you see her. If not, keep it that way, and set a pattern so it stays that way.
The whole verse in four lines
- Live your life with your wife.
- Seek after her.
- Value her.
- Grow together in your relationship with Jesus.
If you're a husband in Big Rapids and you'd like people to walk this with, that's a lot of what TheWay is for. Get on the list, and start with the six ways if you haven't yet.
The prayer that never gets hindered
There is one prayer God has never once refused to hear, and it's the first one. If you've never been saved, He is not waiting on you to become a better husband before He'll listen. He's waiting on you to admit you need Him. His Son died in your place, and the grave couldn't hold Him, and He saves everyone who calls on Him — good husbands, bad husbands, men who wrecked something years ago and have been paying for it since. Call on Him and you'll have the third strand in that cord. Everything in this post becomes possible after that. Not before.
If you're already following Jesus, do the blunt thing Peter is pointing at. Tonight, ask her one question: is there anything between us that I've never made right? Then be quiet and let her answer the whole way through, including the part that stings. Fix what she names, this week, not someday.
Some of you have been praying about a job or a diagnosis for six months, and the blockage has been sitting across the table from you at supper the entire time.
Marriage series: ← Part 4 · Part 5 · Start over →