James 4:1–12 — where fights come from, and how to end them

Through James, part 14 · James 4:1–12

At war with each other, at war with ourselves (vv. 1–3)

"What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don't they come from your passions that wage war within you?"

James isn't talking about armies. He means arguing and quarreling inside the church — and he says every bit of it comes from selfish desires fighting inside individual people. Sinful conflict in the church is never God's will (remember 1:20: human anger doesn't produce God's righteousness).

Here's the principle: selfishness and stubbornness are at the root of most quarrels. Test it in any relationship — marriage, kids, relatives at the holidays. What causes most of the problems? Stubbornness and selfishness. External strife is always the fruit; internal strife is the root.

So the best place to look for the problem is in yourself. Unhappy with your marriage, your home, your job, your boss, your church? Self-assess before you get judgmental. Our default since the garden is to blame someone else (Genesis 3:12–13). Tragedies split marriages because people go hunting for someone to blame besides themselves. And we even excuse our own sin with "if they'd be what they're supposed to be, I'd be what I'm supposed to be." No. You do what's right regardless.

"You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and wage war. You do not have because you do not ask." Instead of bickering and envying, these believers could have simply asked God to provide. It never crossed their minds. The essence of sin is selfishness — so what are your selfish ambitions driving in your life? Money, power, position, superiority, an easier life? And when they did ask, they asked with wrong motives, to spend it on their pleasures — and God isn't inclined to answer that prayer.

At war with God (vv. 4–6)

"You adulterous people! Don't you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God?"

The Bible consistently calls a believer's love affair with the world spiritual adultery (Jeremiah 3:8; Ezekiel 16:32; 2 Corinthians 11:2). John says it plainly: "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him" (1 John 2:15–16). God is a jealous God — His very name is Jealous (Exodus 34:14) — and He wants your whole heart.

"But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." When we submit to God's will, we resist our own pride and desires. The cure for selfishness is seeking what God wants.

The way back (vv. 7–10)

"Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you."

Satan looks for easy conquests. If you withstand his temptation, he goes elsewhere. And as we submit to God and resist the devil, God gives more grace to keep standing. The devil would love nothing more than to stir up strife in a church, undermine marriages, pull parents away from their children, and bring false teaching in the door — because those are the pillars of a follower of Christ: family, church, and believing God. God is never at work in strife among His people.

So draw near. We have the option to follow our pride or turn and follow God. "Cleanse your hands" — repent of the outward sins. "Purify your hearts" — repent of the inward ones, especially double-mindedness, which is hypocrisy. God is always willing and ready to forgive and to bring you back into fellowship with Him.

"Be miserable and mourn and weep." That isn't gloom for its own sake; it's godly sorrow over sin, the kind that leads to real repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10–11). God is looking for believers who will weep over their sin rather than fill the silence with entertainment. "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you." The lifting up comes after the bowing down.

Don't slander one another (vv. 11–12)

"Don't criticize one another, brothers and sisters... There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?"

Pulling verses 1–12 together: when we fight among ourselves, especially over position and power, we're displaying a lack of trust in God. So be careful about being someone who stirs contention in a church. If there's an issue, go directly to the person it's with, and then to someone who can actually do something about it. Be very cautious about getting other people upset about what you're upset about. If you feel you need to leave a church, that's between you and God — but tread lightly about causing problems on the way out. This is God's church, and He will handle the issues as He sees fit. There are a lot of people trying to be judge and jury of churches. That's a dangerous game, because there's only one Judge.

You're in a fight right now, aren't you. And you could name the person in under a second.

If that's you, and you've never been made right with God, the fight you're thinking about isn't the main one. There's a bigger conflict, it's between you and a holy God, and you started it. Here's what He did about it anyway. He sent His Son to take the judgment that had your name on it. Jesus died. Jesus got up. And peace is offered to anybody who quits fighting Him and trusts what He did. Submit to God. That's how the war ends. That's how it ends for you.

Believer, you already know the name too. Go this week — not a text, not a vague post, not three other people first. Go directly to the person, the way James said. And on the drive over, do the three: submit to God, resist the devil, draw near. Most of these fights don't survive the drive. The ones that do belong in front of somebody who can actually help, and nowhere else. There's only one Judge, and the job's taken.

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Through James: ← Part 13 · Part 14 · Part 15 →