James 1:19–20 — quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger

Through James, part 8 · James 1:19–20

"My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God's righteousness." (James 1:19–20)

A conclusion, not a new topic

Older translations start verse 19 with "Wherefore." James is drawing a conclusion from everything he's said so far — trials, wisdom, temptation, the goodness of God, the new birth. Given all of that, here's how a mature believer carries himself. It's a profound thought that, if applied, would save many a relationship. And it's for everyone: "every man," "everyone."

Quick to listen

Attentive the way a mother hears her crying child. Really listening to what's said — not waiting for your turn.

Slow to speak

James learned this from Proverbs. "The one who gives an answer before he listens — this is foolishness and disgrace for him" (Proverbs 18:13). "When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is prudent" (Proverbs 10:19). "Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent" (Proverbs 17:27–28).

Slow to anger

We need a controlled temper. "A patient person shows great understanding, but a quick-tempered one promotes foolishness" (Proverbs 14:29). You have no license to blow up about something. The only thing we have any right to be angry about is sin — and we ought to be far more concerned about our anger toward our own sin than toward anyone else's.

So here's the question: do you find yourself more angry at other people's sin or your own? Paul, near the end of his life, called himself the chief of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). That's a man who had done some honest self-examination. Have you?

Why: anger doesn't get you where you want to go

"Human anger does not accomplish God's righteousness." The word means to achieve, to produce. If you find yourself angry quickly, if you fly off the handle, you are not producing God's righteousness in your home or anywhere else — no matter how right you were about the thing that set you off.

Are you kind, compassionate, and caring? To your wife? To your children? To coworkers, to the people who report to you? Jesus said, "Whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them" (Matthew 7:12). The Golden Rule applies to your spouse and your kids too.

And if you find yourself angry all the time, you need to sit down and ask why. If the answer starts with someone else's name or title, try again. It is not someone else's fault that you're angry. It's yours. That's not a condemnation; it's the beginning of freedom, because you're the one thing in the situation you can actually change.

The one thing in the room you can change

Here's a harder version of the same question. Are you more bothered by everyone else's sin than by your own? God isn't. He knows exactly what yours is worth and what it costs. And what He did about it is the whole message: He laid it on His own Son. Jesus died under it, and three days later He was alive again. Every bit of the anger your sin earned landed on Him instead of on you. Call on Jesus and it's settled. You don't have to get your temper under control first. You couldn't anyway. Right?

Now the ones who already believe. Quick to listen, slow to speak. This week, pick the person you interrupt most — it's probably the one you live with — and don't. Let them get all the way to the end of it. Count to three before you answer. And the next time you fly off the handle, say so out loud to them the same day, before bed, whether or not you feel like it.

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Through James: ← Part 7 · Part 8 · Part 9 →